Mind Your Tribe

I pray you are all having a great start to 2017. Thank God this year is off to a GREAT start and I’m so excited about the impact filling the 365 little numbered boxes of my Passion Planner. I have to admit that I’ve spent the better part of the month of January reflecting on all the lessons I learned last year and yes, there were many. Among them, were the importance of tribe and the importance of self-worth. I wondered about the correlation between these two.

I’m blessed that I belong to a tribe where we all value each other. We care enough to not only recognize each other’s worth but make it known, every chance we get. I find I’m constantly reminding people to mind their tribe. I remember reading a book by Jim Rohn wherein he said “You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.” I thought HOLY CRAP! Things immediately began to change for me when I became conscious and more aware of where and on whom I was focusing my energy.

I’m curious, where and on whom are you planning on focusing your energy this year? Who is your tribe? How are you contributing to your tribe and almost as importantly, how are they contributing to you?

That reminds me of a quote I read by Rumi who said “Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.” Here’s a brief example of why this is important.

I’m sure many of you have heard how in the old days, when a man wanted to wed, he had to pay a dowry or a bride price to the family, typically in cattle or livestock for the opportunity to marry the woman he loved. This price was typically negotiated with the father of the bride. I want to tell you the story of Joseph, a father who had 2 daughters in their early twenties.

His youngest daughter, Sarah, was one of the most beautiful women in that entire part of the world and it seemed that everyone everywhere was aware of the extent of her beauty. The son of a king from a neighboring kingdom was looking for a bride and the rumor that Sarah was on his short list reached their village. The interesting thing about this pending engagement was that the price to be paid was 30 cows for his bride. This was more than twice as much as the highest dowry ever paid in that time.

Naturally, the father understood how much was at stake and what a dowry like that represented for his family. The prince was only a couple of days away. The father ordered his older daughter, Mary, to sell everything they owned and order the most beautiful gown to be made for her sister for this meeting. Now in those days, typically if there was to be a marriage, the older sister was expected to marry first however,

there was too much at stake and tradition was going to have to take a back seat to this life-changing opportunity. Mary understood this and didn’t mind following her father’s wishes. She selflessly did whatever it took to help her sister. The gown was ordered and Mary spent most of the day of the prince’s arrival, preparing her sister’s hair, makeup, doing her nails and was all-in in doing everything she could do to make sure her sister looked as beautiful as possible for her meeting with the prince.

And so, the king and his prince arrived. The king and Joseph met with each other behind closed doors. The prince, Mary and Sarah went their own way to chat and get to know each other.

A few hours later, they reconvened and after some deliberation with the king, the prince went to Joseph and asked him for his daughter’s hand in marriage, offering to pay the dowry of 30 cows for his bride as had been rumored. Joseph was ecstatic and as he called for Sarah, the prince corrected him and told him he actually wanted to marry his older daughter Mary. The father was in shock actually everyone was in shock, most of all Mary. But so it was, the dowry was paid, the marriage came a few weeks later and there went Mary off to live her new life.

A month or so later, the father made the trek to visit his daughter in the neighboring kingdom. He reached their home after a couple of days travel by camel. He knocked on the door and was greeted by the most angelic-looking, most beautiful woman he’d ever seen - more beautiful in fact than his own daughter Sarah.

After the initial shock of her beauty, he settled himself, greeted her and introduced himself as Joseph, the father of Mary. “I’m here to visit with my daughter, can you please call on her for me?” The lady at the door just stared and after a long pause and realizing he hadn’t recognized her said “Father, do you not recognize me? It’s me, Mary.”

Her father couldn’t hold back his tears and through those tears told her he couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. See, what happened was that after a month of Mary living a life accepting that she was indeed worth twice the highest dowry ever paid for a bride, her exterior matched her interior, as if she’d come out of her shell. As if her dormant beauty had permission to come out and no longer live in the shadows. She was living, feeling and viewing herself as she deserved. She had validation.

One of the greatest blessings I had in 2016, and yes, there were many, was connecting with so many new people, now new members of my tribe. They are the personification of support, encouragement and collaboration, all people who have your best interest at heart. I pray that they all know their worth and tell them every chance I get.

I’m curious about something… if you began today to really examine your value and accept your true worth, who would you be a month from now? In fact I challenge you to begin to see yourselves as the amazing, wonderful, talented people you are. Please accept your worth, accept that you are worth those 30 cows, no screw it, 100 cows!!! If you are reading this, trust that I believe that to be the case or you wouldn’t be receiving this. Understand that you are, not only able, but deserve to reach your full potential and accomplish everything you desire.

Please surround yourself with people who believe this to be true for you and for themselves. If you want to be a great encourager, surround yourself with encouraging people. If you want to take your dreams to the next level, surround yourself with big dreamers. If you want to do amazing things in and with your life,

surround yourself with people who are doing just that. Make sure your tribe is involved in a concerted effort to bring out the best you have inside of you and most importantly, make sure you are reciprocating. Remember what the great Bob Burg says “Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin.” If this is not representative of your current tribe, get a new one. Yes, I said it. GET A NEW ONE!

If you are seeking, find a guide and if you are in a position to guide, find someone who is seeking. If you’re searching to belong to a tribe like this, find a Mastermind Group or a Collective that can fill that void. Empowerers are everywhere, believe me! Please accept and know your value, mind your tribe and above all, be sure to surround yourself with people who fan your flames.